Tuesday, September 16, 2008

I believe that every human has a finite number of heartbeats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises. – Neil Armstrong

What a twit this Armstrong punk. I have never been a fan ever since he lied to us about landing on the moon with Buzz Lightyear. Calm down calm down. I am not saying the Yanks never got to the moon, I'm just pointing out that what they presented as a trip up there was a lie. I reckon they had actually been there before they claimed this landing, but with the cold war and all the timing was not quite right to tell the world. When they did eventually present their story of the lunar trip ... it was all a sham.
No stress though, some strange shit happened back then which is just too bizzare to get ones head around in today's mayhem.

I have been curious about Armstrong though, reading that he is a hermit and lives up on a hill away from everyone and not very able to deal with society. I also read this quote from him above and was not too happy with everyones favourite space traveler. Being a fit vokker myself I suppose I was at odds with his theory in both my actions as well as my reaction so I decided to do some basic mathematics to see what would transpire. The maths was done in my head at first while laying in bed one morning so now I have just backed it up on a marvelous new invention that counts numbers and stuff. My buddy Seth calls it a 'Calculator' and tells me it is really a fantastic machine so here goes:

Right, so Lets make the playing field standard as idiotic Scientists so enjoy (funny bunch those scientists. Clever but not very intelligent. They are like wind up toys that have been set off with so much energy, but in the wrong direction!) saying: "all things being equal" well I thought in keeping with their traditions I will haul Lance Armstrong into my equations ... so now we have Neil Armstrong or Neal Armstrong and Lance Armstrong. Lets just call them N and L.

So N reckons he will be wasting his heart beats if he exercises. Lets say is an avg man which would mean that his heart rate is 72bpm (that is beats per minute and would have been substantially higher than 72 when he was lying about his moonwalk back in the 70's ... actually 80's 90's and all the way into the 21st century). So lets take just 40 years of heart beats effectively taking out his childhood and old age time. 40 years is more likely to be the kind of period one would exercise so its a good number to work with.
That would give N an avg of 72bpm x 60min x 24 hours = 103 680 beats per day
We have said that we will take 40 years worth of days which will give N heart a workout of:
103 680 x 365 days x 40 years = 1 513 728 000 heart beats per 40 years.

N says L should not be doing any exercise as his heart will be pounding out unnecessary beats which eat into his quota and will therefore mean a shorter life as we only get a fixed amount of heartbeats to use from birth.

L thinks N is a dick head and decides to ride his bike from time to time and enjoy the odd run, generally becoming a pretty fit individual. Lets act in favour of N though and give L an avg mans exercised heart rate and not L's extra special condition. So again we will just deal with the 40 year time of L's life. Having exercised that heart muscle though his avg beats per minute will have come down a lot from 72bpm. One could safely say he would push out an avg of 55bpm as he is now in good shape from exercise. So his equation would look like this: 55bpm x 60min x 24 hours = 79 200 beats per day. Substantially lower but we must amend this as L does exercise during the day so his heart rate will be higher in that time. Lets not get too complicated and just say he does an avg of 1 hour a day every day for 40 years (again that is in favour of N but lets see where that leaves us) So now we must do two equations as follows:
[1(60min) hour a day x 170bpm (as he is exercising here) = 10 200] +
[60min x 55bpm (fit heart but at rest) x 23 hours = 75 900] = 86 100 per day

To carry that over to 40 years: 86 100 x 365 days x 40 years = 1 257 060 000 heart beats per 40 years. So L the exerciser would have 256 668 000 beats less a year which would equate to 2981 days of heart beats extra. That is more than 8 years.

Enjoy your finite number of heart beats Neil Armstrong ...seems they will be up a whole lot earlier with your decision to banish exercising your heart buddy.

No comments: