Monday, August 25, 2008

"You guys line up alphabetically by height." and "You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle." Colin Cooper Hirricanes Head Coach

I don't think even this genius could do worse than our head clown Peter de Villiers. So many South African's are watching helplessly as a team of players as good and usually better than any others in the world, crumble into an unnatural role of losers. Watching these Springbok beasts wilt against there natural rivals is like watching Obelix having his super strong powers (from falling into a magic potion cauldron at Birth) taken away and receiving a beating from some insignificant roman legionaries. The expressions are not just those of frustration but those of helplessness, perhaps with a touch of longing too. Longing for the philandering Jake White to leave his gallivanting behind, skip the session with the shrink and to return to the change rooms of the World Champions that he was so much a part of.
De Villiers is a total and utter screw up and it seems as though those of us that were holding onto the hope that Garry Glitter and Dick Pure would keep the shine and integrity of the Champs in place, well even we are losing our grip on that hope as we watch mouths agape at the shit pouring out of Peters:

"What we try to tell them is when you point your finger into the sky, don't concentrate on the finger because you'll miss all the heavenly glory out there." - On telling his players to enjoy life.

"So we will be aware of the threats they can pose to us but, then again, it's war and you die." - On Australia's (slightly over-stated) likely aggression in Perth.

"The laws are there and we are law-abiding citizens of South Africa and we will never over-step anything." - On the Boks playing to the referee.

"Now we have to go out there and do it ourselves and maybe it is going to be not too good for the two teams if they take the law into their own hands, if it is not being officiated the way that we want it to go." - Two minutes later, on the referee playing to the Boks.

"We are playing the Tri-Nations under the Experimental Law Variations. With respect to the Welsh, what do South Africans see as the biggest challenge this year, the most important games for the Boks? I think you can answer that question for yourself. Everyone wants us to beat New Zealand, we play them twice in New Zealand during the Tri-Nations," - On the importance of the friendly series with Wales.

"Test rugby is war. We're going back to the trenches. We have to build a side that will die for the country." - On preparations for a friendly series against Wales of hitherto secondary importance.

"My preparations for the Springbok team are secondary. It's about what the country wants." - On being happy with his squad depth.

"A lot of guys put up their hands and I want to make it clear that the Springbok door is not shut to anyone." - On leaving out players from his first Springbok squad.

"There is a time to come and a time to go. I am looking to the next four years, and some people may find that their time to go is earlier than expected." - One week later, on leaving out players from his first Springbok team.

"Either you can give him the opportunity to play himself into form or he can take the opportunity to play himself out of form because players always want to be the best and they can push themselves too far." - On...erm... something to do with squad rotation.

"Even if you're playing a game on the moon, if you have the skills and you play well, you will win." - On choosing the right team for the right time.

"I am a very competitive person, I can't play a card game and not be competitive. There is nothing friendly about what I do." - On trying to be the best (said with a big warm smile).

"The fact is, they were so spoon-fed by the previous regime. Now we are asking them to think a bit, it is a culture shock for them. They are scared to make decisions because they have been so spoilt. Everything was there, they didn't have to decide on anything. They didn't take the blame for anything." - On his new-look team's failure to respond to recent setbacks.

Peter de Villierisms from

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