Monday, January 19, 2009

It's damn hot! It's so damn hot, I saw these little guys, their orange robes burst into flames. - Robin Williams

I knew when I was cutting those masses of chilli's that I was going to be paying for it somewhere down the line. I was making such a concerted effort not to touch my eyes that I seem to have neglected all sorts of other potential dangers of those little guys that pack such a burning punch.
You see we have a massive chili bush, so as not to waste any, I harvested the lot. That was way over 100 chilli's. I decided to have a go at making some chili flakes. I am not too sure how to go about it, but so far I have taken care of the chopping and am sort of getting them under some heat in the oven - slowly. It seems to be going okay, but to dry the chopped pieces out in the oven seems like it will take a long long time so I am waiting for the wind the stop before I put them outside in the sun to dry ... any tips? Besides the obvious ones about not touching body parts - its too late for that! I have multiple wounds and of the worst possible order.
Firstly I thought a wash with soap would do the trick to get the strong burn of my mitts. Strangely though the Lemon and Poppy seed muffin I smashed shortly after the hands wash packed a huge dose of burn. After a short stint of confusion, I realised that I was not going to get rid of the chili burn from my hands too easily. The big problem was that while I was thinking how to go about shaking the burn, I took a pee and neglected to take care. Next thing I knew I had a burn in my pants like I have never felt before! Don't let me go into too much detail about that one though.
I managed to get through the mouth burn and willy burn with extreme bravery and a small serving of fear and thought that my carelessness had taught me a lesson and all was done with, I suppose chopping up 60 chills will leave its mark.
Two hours later though the burn was just as strong as ever, much the the determent of my forehead this time. I had just run along the promenade in the evening sun which was hot enough to get a decent sweat going. Wiping my brow a few times I never suspected a thing. When I got back to the gym though and while talking to Cape Towns legendary TBG, I felt my head burning like I had been lying in the sun all day with baby oil on my forehead. I realised it was a transfer of the chili burn still lingering with intent. Damn was I ever going to get over this ruthless attack? At least I had managed to avoid getting it in the eyes as was the original concern (well I suppose genitalia would have been pretty close to number one concern had it occurred to me that appendage would have been in danger, but I never thought I would be that stupid ... how wrong I was. Not for the first time either when dealing with my ... uuuurghum, never mind), but that did not last long. Next step was a shower at the gym and would you know it while washing my face I rubbed my eyes which set alight straight away. It was instant pain. I was stuck on options to alleviate the now throbbing eyes. I was just about to give in and start weeping (natures own antidote you understand) when I realised I could use my towel to rub the eyes. I picked a spot on the towel that I hoped my 'infected' hands had not touched and gave the eyes a good gauging. I am not sure if the burn ceased at that stage, but the discomfort of pushing the eyeballs to the back of my skull in an semi delirious error of judgement and over zealous attempt to rid myself of the pain by pushing at them with fingers numbed from the effects of 60 chilli's, certainly masked what ever feeling I had been suffering from the chilli's in a brand new type of pain that had me wondering when the piano was going to fall on my head just to finish things off.

I can't wait to taste my new chili flakes, I wonder if they'll be hot?

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