Friday, October 10, 2008

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education – Mark Twain

I have super intelligent cousins. One has written a book about being home schooled while living in Botswana and its a cracker. The publishers world wide went mad for the book even though Robs has never written a book before. 'Twenty Chickens For A Saddle' is a hit in the USA and the UK and also available in South Africa.

I think I will school my own children too. I better marry a boffin though as I reckon all they will learn from their Dad is:
  • How to cook pasta perfectly,
  • How to pass a rugby ball pinpoint over 18m,
  • How to dance like a black dude in a white dudes skin,
  • What the directions are to The Ledge on Table Mountain,
  • The secret of a power nap in any location,
  • How to eat a loaf of bread in one sitting,
  • The art of stubbornness,
  • How to do a head stand,
  • How to interrupt others at all costs so as to get your own point across,
  • Appreciation of pain and suffering,
  • The merits of the Golden Ratio - Phi,
  • Why sweetener and many other foods are evil,
  • How you can never watch Snatch nor The Big Blue too many times,
  • How to see the moon and the sun in just one look!
  • Why not to vote,
  • That Johnny Wilkinson and Michael Owen are the same person,
  • How to put one's mouth over a pint glass,
  • How to survive a migraine,
  • That Eskimos are really Inuits,
  • Father Christmas is real,
  • How to put over 100 grapes in your mouth (no not via a bottle of wine),
  • The importance of summer rules of no socks no jocks,
  • Why not to protest when given a temporary nic name so as to not make it stick,
  • The real reason for it all and how to go about making it all worthwhile.

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